By Shelley Hill Young
After her first daughter, Aria, was born and Gervase Kolmos went back to work as a sales manager, she struggled to adjust to her new identity: Mom. “I had this mentality I should be able to do this,” Gervase says. But she felt trapped and unhappy.
“It was like the world turned upside down,” she says. “Nobody was relating to me about the new mom thing in a way that I could relate to.”
Gervase says she was trying to be who she used to be before her daughter was born and it wasn’t working. “I was having a total identity crisis.”
She quit her job when her daughter was about 6 months old so she could have space to figure out what she needed. She sat down next to a life coach at a writing workshop and had a “light-bulb moment.”
Gervase enrolled in a life-coaching course, and by the time her daughter turned 1, she had created a website for her new business, Shiny. Happy. Human. “I started truth-telling and hoping for the best.”
The truth she discovered is that real mom life is messy. Moms often want every day to be perfect, but things rarely turn out as planned.
Turns out lots of mothers were going through the same struggle transitioning to their new lives as mothers. Gervase found that if she could help moms realize that messy is normal, then they could find a rhythm amid that chaos. “I’m a huge advocate that you can have what you want, but you have to adjust your perspective,” she says. “I help mothers get what they want, but it’s rarely how they expected.”
As a life coach, Gervase says her job is not to give advice, but to ask powerful questions to guide people to their own inner wisdom. Her goal is to help mothers feel happy, fulfilled and free.
Gervase takes pride in connecting women in a safe, judgment-free space. She created the Mommy Soul Tribe as a safe online space for moms to share their experiences. And she hosts monthly Champagne Society gatherings where she invites moms to get dressed up, drink champagne and listen to “bad-ass local women” speak about their experiences as working mothers.
“We find out they are human.” They are doing a great job, but their lives also are messy, she says. Her goal is to humanize them, but also to spotlight how they make it work for them.
Gervase is most proud of creating a working-mom lifestyle that is authentic for her. She says she created her mom lifestyle first and then built her business around it, instead of the other way around.“It’s on my own terms,” she says. “I say ‘no’ to a lot.”