Eight Reasons Goal Crushing Requires the Feminine

By Caryn O’Hara

We live in such an instant gratification, “more”-obsessed society that it is increasingly causing stress in our lives. We often hear that we as humans are built to multitask, but that simply is not true, and unfortunately, it puts a bug in our ear that more is better.

In the practice of Ayurveda, traditional Indian medicine and healing, we refer to this goal-addicted mentality as vata (vô-tuh) -deranged. The excess of stimulation often turns enthusiasm to anxiety before we know it. There is an emphasis on go, go, go, delivering the message “busy is good”.

Ugh. There’s that word again: “busy.” It’s not glorious. It doesn’t mean we are more valuable or more successful than anyone else. It doesn’t equate to happiness. And it’s simply not unique to anyone’s life experience. We all have full lives.

Let’s not dwell in the space of identifying with and declaring our busy-ness all of the time. Instead of talking about what is on our plate, why not skip the “busy” statement and focus on all of the gratitude we have for the abundance in our lives? Are we praising an over-extended lifestyle with the way we perpetually talk about our day to day?

Instead let’s look at how we can be healthier and achieve more by devoting more time to embracing our feminine energy. This is the time we spend not doing. Yes, that time when we sit and read or bathe or linger. This is the space that contrasts the doing, allows us to check in and determine how are we really? This is when we stop, listen, receive and relax.

All of this busy, go-here, do-that, climb-up-the-ladder-every-moment-or-we-are-a-failure belief system is related to masculine qualities. This also feeds thoughts of inadequacy if we cannot find the way to maintain the ever-growing, always-going pace. Feeling the push to always produce can be a recipe for anxiety and depression over time.

If we are always initiating, taking action or giving, we aren’t leaving space in our lives to receive. Ever notice how we can do everything our boss asks of us and no matter how much we do, more is piled on our plate? To top it off, we never receive that promotion for going above and beyond. The more we crank, the more we adopt the rhythm of a robot and the less time there is for anyone to acknowledge what we have accomplished.

It happens on an individual basis and within industries. We work, grind, hit all the marks, and our company continues to plateau. No more street cred, no more growth, and now we feel stuck in terms of personal development.

It’s proven. We need time to be still so creativity has a window to climb into our consciousness. So how else does grounding ourselves in the feminine qualities support our well-being long term?

  1. We need down time for our system to rest well and digest optimally.
  2. Without grounding ourselves, we have no springboard for taking action.
  3. Knowing what steps to take and how to prioritize them is accomplished best after receiving information, a sign from the universe, a call to adventure.
  4. Our nervous system cannot sustain the pressure of forward momentum all the time.
  5. Psychologically, we cannot maintain mental well-being if we are always future-oriented.
  6. Our endocrine system responds to conscious being (versus doing) by releasing a relaxant to the system called dopamine versus the stress-responder hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Dopamine helps balance us and keep us clear of adrenal fatigue.
  7. The feminine space of being allows creativity to rise, whereas too much action or movement physically and mentally blocks new sparks of enlightenment from landing.
  8. If there were no inert force, there would never be an endpoint, meaning we would never actually attain a goal.

Caryn has wisdom beyond her years and offers it to the world by connecting clients to their innate healing wisdom. She is an expert in surviving cancer. She is a published writer, public speaker, and yoga and meditation instructor. Caryn is a natural connector who inspires others daily with her vulnerability and force-to-be-reckoned-with ability to create and hold space for others. Learn more about Caryn at carynohara.com.