The Secret on Loving and Leaving the Lowcountry


When you love, how does it feel? And when you desire, how is it different?

First, we must understand the fundamental principles that make up love and desire, which are essentially security and adventure. We seek security in familiarity and safety, while we look for novelty, surprise or separation to find adventure.

When given the opportunity to go out into the world and explore, it quenches our thirst for desire. And if one can leave and know that they can come back to a place of familiarity, they can feed their hunger for security, ultimately satisfying their appetite for separation and connection at the same.


This is the ultimate paradox I experienced when I made the decision to leave the comfort of my home and all things familiar in the Lowcountry for a sparkling new city of opportunity and the unknown: NYC.


While many of my friends were beginning to settle down and start families, I was boldly lighting the flame to my own love affair, ignited with enthusiasm and burning with passion. The possibilities that once seemed unimaginable were now actually tangible as I was both naïve and determined enough to gallantly chase these ambitions with grit and zest.

But, at what point do the opportunities outweigh the sacrifices we make for them? While life in the city was teaching me priceless lessons on how to cultivate my talent and skills, it was my invaluable innocence that was ultimately being waged and the longer I stayed, I knew the harder it would be to leave.

Skirt Mag

The key to leaving home was compassion. The compassion I felt from my family and friends gave me the needed sense of security to explore the romanticism and amity I pined for in the novelty of New York. The secret to coming back lies covertly within the souls who have chosen to risk their desires for the propitious perils of love.



About Aly Murphy

Aly Murphy is an international etiquette consultant based in Charleston, SC. She previously lived in Manhattan while she studied the history, social psychology and neuroscience...

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