Whenever January rolls around, I start to analyze the year that just passed: Fun memories that I made, new people that I met, and moments that I will never forget.
When I think back on the six years that my husband and I have been together, each year has been marked with some major milestone. 2010 was “The Year We Met” as I fell head over heels for a Charleston boy on the dance floor of Mad River (oh yeah… you remember the place). 2011 was “The Year We Got Engaged” and thus was devoted to all things Pinterest, flower bouquets, and seating arrangements. 2012 I was in “The First Year of Marriage” and learning how to live with a boy and settle into our new routines. 2013 was “The Year We discovered our Love of Traveling,” which has led to our annual tradition of one cross-county trip each year. But then there was 2014. This year was a tough one as we struggled with starting a family, having a miscarriage, and putting every ounce of energy and money into trying to get pregnant. Fast-forward to 2015, “The Year of Pregnant Priscilla.” And 2016 was “The Year I Became a Mother,” which was spent smiling deliriously at our baby boy.But let’s rewind back to 2014. I felt like my inability to get pregnant caused me to become a different version of myself. I let my dark clouds cover what could of been a beautiful rainbow. I ignored even my closest friends because I didn’t want to talk about the elephant in the room. I shrugged off social situations. I avoided being around new moms, pregnant women, or even happy people in general. I would get angry with friends or family for no reason at all. I became a mean girl. (And not in the on-Wednesdays-we-wear-pink way.) It has taken me a couple of years to realize this. But 2014… I was no good to you. So I have decided to make amends with 2014 by going all in this year. I hope to make up for missed opportunities with old friends and also be open to new friendships. I am going to hug more, smile more, frown less, be more thoughtful, try new things, fight less with my mother, answer every text and phone call, say yes to all the lunch dates or random friend’s cousin’s baby’s birthday party, laugh a little more, be the life of the party but also listen when others talk, make better eye contact, let friends borrow my shoes and not care if/when I get them back, be present, be kind, be thoughtful, go all in and be there! I was not there for you 2014 but I hope you can forgive me. And I can’t wait to see where this new year will take me.