When I was 26 I fell in love with my husband and on a sweltering day in May 2011 we vowed our love to each other for the rest of our lives, through thick and thin, yada yada yada. I’ll never forget the moment I came around the corner with my dad and saw Patrick at the end of the aisle waiting for me – my heart had never been so full, and I’d never had that many butterflies in my stomach at one time. Everyone that was there watching me faded into the background and all I saw was my husband-to-be waiting for me. The rest of the night was a whirlwind of dancing, food, drinks, fun and SO. MUCH. LOVE. People to this day (6 years later), are still talking about our wedding and how awesome it was!
We had talked about starting a family fairly quickly after we were married because let’s face it, we weren’t getting any younger! In September 2012 I surprised Patrick at the end of a HORRIBLE Panthers game with a sign that said “Sorry that the Panthers suck, but you’re going to be a Dad.” He cried, we both cried, and then we began the anxiety and worry of how we were going to care for a tiny human being that was solely dependent on us…yikes! I also began to wonder how I was going to have room in my heart to love someone else.
Eight and a half LONG months later we walked into East Cooper Hospital to be induced! We were finally going to meet our baby girl. My anxiety started back up (as I’m sure it does with every mom as she’s going to meet her baby for the first time), and once again I began to wonder how I was going to love our new daughter as much as her father. Well, let me tell you – the second she was placed on me, I melted…every being inside of me absolutely melted and I felt a new kind of love – a love so different from the love that I have for Patrick.
I feel so fortunate that I was able to experience that feeling again when her sister was born a short 21 months later (yeah, it wasn’t supposed to happen that fast!). As we walked into East Cooper Hospital to be induced again, I started wondering if I was going to be able to love another little human being as much as her older sister. My heart was already so full of love from Patrick and Sydney – how could there possible be room for Parker? Once again, when she was placed on my chest and my heart exploded.
Yes I absolutely love and adore my husband – he is definitely the glue that holds our family together, and I don’t know how I would function without him (seriously, I’m a mess and he keeps me grounded and on track), but the love I have for Sydney and Parker is SO different; I think about them constantly, I worry about them constantly, and I wonder what the future holds for them. I want to make sure that I’m doing everything in my power to make sure that they get the most out of life and are brought up to be independent, loving, inquisitive beautiful women.
I grew these girls inside of me; they heard my heartbeat from the inside; I ache when they ache; I celebrate when they celebrate; and I love deeper than I ever thought I possibly could.