I couldn’t wait to move south….well at least until the plan to move west was ended when my husband left. But after that horrible, unexpected divorce, which I’ve spoken about before and which I did survive despite many, many bad days and nights, I took a chance. Three years following a combination of misery, slow acceptance of my alone status, a renewal of my spirit and the chance again of love with an unexpected friend turned more, we moved in September.

 
Well, there’s no mistake that we love it and haven’t regretted it. We love everything about it. We are forging our own lives now, the both of us, and are still in awe that we live in such nice weather after a lifetime in the snowy, cold north, not to mention the wonderful places to go and things to experience that we are constantly finding! I mean, it keeps amazing us, and the friendliness of the area is continually astounding.  I’ve waved to more people and shared even more hellos with total strangers in three months than I ever did in my prior life!
 
However, I do miss some of my girlfriends, though I knew that might be the case. After many “goodbye” get togethers (funny how much you tend to gravitate even more toward someone once they decide to move a considerable distance away), many of those “I’ll miss you’s” seem to have fallen by the wayside. I was asked to write a blog about our new life down here, and I did. It was welcomed, smiled upon, encouraged, and read every day before dying a slow death, while the phone calls, responses and emails trickled away as well.
 
Oh, I still make my calls and compose my emails, but rarely, do they come from the other side first – heck, many are even not acknowledged. I sometimes feel like my girlfriends have just moved on, while trying to reconcile that fact that changes like this aren’t something we all like to or know how to deal with.  Once people are physically gone and despite all the promises to keep in touch, it fades away. Maybe it's that people are just bored with hearing about my happy life and the things we've been doing even though the conversations certainly go both ways. I sometimes even try to downplay my happiness and keep the topics on them. Yet, why should I? Isn’t that what good friends want for them? To be happy? 
 
I would like to think so, but I feel myself drawing away from contacting people on my own anymore. I’ve been sort of taking the passive-aggressive and sometimes childish stance that, “Well, if they wanted to talk to me, they’d call.” Hair toss, foot stomp and maybe some mental door slams! And yet, I still make my calls and write my emails, sending cards and pictures as much as possible, while asking about their own lives and WANTING to hear about them. These days, however, their answers seem very superficial. How did years of sharing seemingly and suddenly fade away after only a few months!?
 
I’m enjoying myself and certainly don’t want or need any pity – there is nothing for anyone to feel bad about, since I’m more content and peaceful with myself than I’ve been in a long time even without the familiarity of friends nearby. It would just be nice for these “friends” to take the time to tell me about THEIR lives, like they used to do. I loved nothing more than our girlfriend gatherings, and they knew that – we ALL reveled in our girlfriend times together, with tons of laughter and goodwill between us. I was always amazed that nine women could truly get along so well, in ages raging from 27 to 68! I don’t want to beg for attention, but telling them that I miss them sometimes brings unexpected sarcasm --  “Oh, well, you moved…that happens” or lame comments about the weather such as, “Oh, too bad for you, it’s 80 degrees out…” ha ha ha, from them.
 
Should I lie? I suppose I could say that I’m miserable, but I’m not. I just want an unprompted call or even someone to say “I miss you too.” Thankfully, I do have a few who do just that, and we can spend hours catching up, but certainly not much action from those who cried the hardest upon knowing I’d be leaving.
 
Maybe it’s just life that moves one once someone moves away, or maybe I need some new friends. I’d like to think it’s the former, because it would hurt too much to think that out of sight really is out of mind, even after sharing so many wonderful experiences for so many years. I just don’t get it.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

southernnewbie

Skirtsetter

Executive Resume Writer & Life Changer