blogger profile

Eklonicki

I'm a freeance writer who lives in Raleigh. I write magazine and newspaper articles and have written three books. I'm interested in family and relationships, parenting, senior care, psychology and therapy, women's issues, writing, and American history, particularly the WWII era. Please visit my othe...

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Dancing to my own music

Elaine Luddy Klonicki

Hello, and welcome to my blog. I started a post last night and worked on it for a while, wanting it to be good since it was the first post. I tried to preview it, apparently just as the site was being updated, and I lost it. I was upset, briefly. Then I let Angelia at the site know, turned off my computer, and went to bed.

This morning before I tried again, I read a little of The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, by Sue Monk Kidd (author of The Secret Life of Bees). The book is about her spiritual journey. I realized at once what a fortunate thing it was that my post got lost. Having read some of your blogs on this site, I was trying to be light and fun and trendy, so that you'd like me. Just as many of us do at parties when we don't know the people. Instead of trying to be my best self for you, I was trying to be what I thought you wanted me to be. In Sue Monk Kidd's words, I was writiing from ego instead of from an authentic place.

Having started out that way, I might have felt compelled to continue. At least for a while. Not that I can't be light and fun, and sometimes even trendy (dig my new rimless glasses with the transitions lenses?), but in general I'm a little more internally oriented. I'm a deep, thoughtful person, more of an observer than a player. Which turns out to be an okay personality for a writer, especially one who writes a lot about people and relationships and personal growth.

I'm trying again, and this time I promise to be real. One thing great about being older is that, while you still get derailed, it doesn't take as long to get back on the path.

So I'll make you a deal. You guys be you, I'll be me, and I'm sure we'll all get along just fine.