muse profile

Renee CK

writer, editor

I'm a fun girl who's on a quest to figure it all out. I'm cynical but living the dream- I'm not sure how that happened exactly. Follow along in my blog for fun, mayhem, and merriment. There's never a dull day!...

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I am a Winner

Hillary, Susan, Me?

This morning when I pulled open Google chat to see who was up and around already and if I had gotten any mail (one stop shopping!) I had gotten this morning’s Morning Muse.  Horray Nikki had gotten me thinking for a brand new day.  And the I listened to the NPR story which she referenced.  Susan Cheever, an brilliant writer, talks about why she loves Hillary- because she’s a lot like us.

My issue, however, is part of why Susan is like Hillary; because neither of them were the leggy blondes who have doors opened for them because of their looks.  No, girls like them, and me, have to work harder to show that our substance is below the skin.  But, she talked about how finding a husband, being involved in charitable organizations, making cookies for the PTO, and the like are the things that women are traditionally supposed to aspire to. 

I grew up ready to fight for me.  My sainted grandparents had one son and two daughters. The son, my dad, had two daughters.  So it is up to my sister and I to figure out how to keep the family name.  I always knew I wanted to hypenate and if there was a man who didn’t like it, then he woudn’t have to be a part of it.  I always intended to teach, and maybe I wouldn’t be married. I’d be happy in my career.  I didn’t want to bring children into this horrible world, and I’d fight for the environment because it was all we had to count on going forward.

Here is how I know that God is headlining in His own club.  I fell in love, hard, with my high school crush just before my 21st birthday.  Still a junior in college, just moved out of the dorms, and per the cliche, totally not looking for love.  In fact, I had just given up the last vestages of my crush on him not too long before he came looking for me.  I got married at 22, but I wasn’t changed.  Okay, I liked standing side by side in the kitchen with his mom and sister making a holiday meal...and would bake a cake or brownies or something just for the heck of it. 

And then we got a house in the suburbs because we could get more house for our money. We really didn’t realize that we were in an incredible school district.  Nor did we know we’d have a son with autism.  When I left my teaching education, I said that I would be the parent I would have wanted my students to have. So I was naturally invovled in education.  And I believe teachers deserve all the support we can give them- they certainly aren’t getting compensated accordingly for the work they do.  So I will send in a homemade treat for my favorite teachers every now and again.  And I’m active in Autism Speaks. 

When I look at myself, I gasp.  I am the 100 lb heavier version of a Stepford wife. (Okay, well, my house isn’t so perfect.)  Does that mean that I believe any less in the fight for women? That I think it’s acceptable to consdier women who aren’t married, happily or otherwise, by their 30th birthdays a failure?  God no!  If anything, I think that women are stronger.  I do think there is something innate within us that makes us care more about our children even when there is a huge presentation due at work in the morning.  I believe that we will drop everything to help a friend with a flat, be it a tire or a flat spirit.  Somehow men didn’t get that wiring. Maybe it’s for the best, I don’t know that they could handle it.  They see a black and white world- “I can hear the kids in the yard so I know they’re okay, I’ll ignore this call from Charlie because I have to work on this report”. 

To me, woman’s liberation made it okay for women to do anything...baking or boardrooms.  Or baking AND boardrooms!  I also think it means that men need to step up.  I owe my former co-worker an apology...because he is excited about his wife’s pregnancy, makes food, (and well!) and has one of the kindest hearts you could ever know, we told him he has a uterus.  It was honorary and he was the only guy in the office.  But maybe it was a step too far.  He is right just as much as a woman who orders out because she can’t cook is right. 

So, I’m going to go load up a few grocery carts and run a load of laundry.  My foremothers made that okay.

Enjoy!
Renee