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Pamela
I attempt to teach high school English to the unwilling.
I am approximately 35....ok, for sure 35 years old, with two beautiful spawn, ages 3 (drama daughter) and 5 (little tank), and a magnificant husband. I teach high school English, and have supposedly maintained my sanity in the process. I enjoy reading, lots of music, traveling and wine. That sounde...
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My Mama Still Scares Me

How Old Are YOU today honey?

Wednesday, May, 14, 2008

Yesterday I realized that I am, for all intents and purposes, still a skinny, insecure 10 year-old on the inside. Last night, my “Precious Pentecostal Mommy” (that’s what I call her, because it really gets her goat), phoned me, having heard via my dad, that I am blogging on www.skirt.com.  She was trying to get to the website from home so that she could read some of my stuff. READ MY STUFF!?!? HOLY CRAP! There are CURSE WORDS on my blog. More than one! There are also references to alcohol, crosses, and my ass. I think I passed out.

After realizing what was about to happen, I began scurrying around the house looking for the power cord to the computer, totally planning to delete everything and start my life over somewhere else. In the middle of this whole thing, my husband looks at me and asks, “How old are you today, honey?” After thinking about it, I came to the conclusion, that when it comes to my parents, I am 10, look like a little boy wearing butterfly glasses, headgear, and really cool parachute pants. In my other life, I’m a grown ass woman with a husband, two beautiful babies, a job I love, and wonderful friends.

If you’re wondering, I did finally decide to tell my mother that the website had blown up and was no longer functioning, but I didn’t delete anything. Is that wrong?

Am I the only one that this happens to? I want to hear your stories about things that immediately transform you into that goofy girl again.

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writeousbabe
writeousbabe
goofy little girl
Posted Wed, 05/14/2008 - 19:03
I completely relate to this. I am terrified of my parents reading most of the stuff I write. Other things that turn me into a goofy little girl include: cold weather (My whining is unbearable when the temperature drops below 50 degrees), grocery shopping (I pout and sometimes even throw tantrums when I have to go to the supermarket) and open closets (I'm 27 and still can't sleep with a closet door open for fear that something is lurking in there waiting to attack.) writeous babe
psansour
psansour
I firmly believe that the
Posted Thu, 05/15/2008 - 04:47
I firmly believe that the monsters in my closet are more afraid of me(thank you Monsters, Inc.), than I am of them. If you could see my closet, this would make sense... If I have to wear more than a cute tank top to be comfortable while shopping for shoes, it's too cold. Period. This is the standard that all other climates are judged by. Jackets make me sweat. You really should look into finding a grocery store that delivers. I don't do it, as my children equate grocery shopping with a trip to Disney World, but it looks useful! Would be kinda like "Food Christmas"....:)
writeousbabe
writeousbabe
Food Christmas. I like it!
Posted Sat, 05/17/2008 - 17:07
Food Christmas. I like it! writeous babe
NV
NV
At least once a day...
Posted Wed, 05/14/2008 - 19:13
...I have to refrain from turning into a 14 year old. Banana splits and gifts with purchase pretty much catapult me into immaturity.
psansour
psansour
There are things in life
Posted Thu, 05/15/2008 - 04:41
There are things in life that will forever require us to be a child, at least at heart. I totally believe that the two you mentioned above, especially the banana split, have earned that right!
Janie
Janie
I almost snorted my "grape juice"
Posted Wed, 05/14/2008 - 21:35
when I read your hilarious post. As a fully functioning adult I find myself regressing to childhood in front of my parents at the strangest moments. (Usually in front of other family members which just goes to proving their theories about my sanity.) I do have to say that the first time I heard my mother drop the f-bomb at the ripe ol' age of 30 to her sister, I did a little celebratory dance in my head and realized I wasn't immaculately conceived as I previously thought.
psansour
psansour
First of all, there is
Posted Thu, 05/15/2008 - 04:39
First of all, there is NOTHING more painful than the snorted beverage....trust me! :) My mom, in all her years (there are over 60 of 'em), has NEVER uttered dirty word one in front of me. I really don't see how this is possible, and it scares me a little. I mean, if we're watching a movie together, and God forbid someone drop the f'er, I blush. Not figuratively, LITERALLY.
ReneeCK
ReneeCK
The Principal CALLS
Posted Thu, 05/15/2008 - 07:44
My son is on the autism spectrum and when the special ed teacher isn't around, he goes to see the principal for things like dropping f-bombs in class and "aggressive play". And then I get called.

I wasn't a girl who went to the principal's office. I wrongly got pulled into a fake-note debaucle that was blamed on me and at the time I almost peed on my Outback Red skirt.

So, when the principal calls me, I am functionally a scared school girl who did something wrong. But no, it's my son. I walk the tightrope between scared school girl and advocate parent mentally asking "was anyone hurt while he said fuck?" or "lemme guess, he was playing with [friend's name who my son plays aggressively with removed] and no one saw the start of things?" and giving proper reverence to the administrator's position of authority.

Fuck 'em! I'm 35 and my son has autism!!!
psansour
psansour
Damn That's Funny
Posted Sat, 05/17/2008 - 21:09
Note to self: Never read your blog or comments while drinking. Messy and uncomfortable when coffee comes out of my nose. If saying "f@#k" is the worst thing that my students do, I'm golden. If my son doesn't expose the organs of one of his friends while playing, it's all good. The system is WAY too uptight for me! :)