A friend of mine in Alabama, who is barely out of her teens herself, wrote and sent this to every teen girl she knows. It is truly beautiful!! You're an inspiration to all of us, Emily!

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You know, I actually don't write notes to you very often, but something has really been on my heart the last few days. Maybe it's because my sister’s off at camp and I'm realizing how much I'm going to miss her this summer (and how proud I am of her). Maybe it's the fact that I finished my internship over a month ago and still have no idea what grade(s) I'll be teaching in the fall (and I really want high school). Maybe I'm just looking forward to the mission trip this summer and being able to catch up with all my girlies back home. I don't really know. What I do know is that God keeps reminding me of the concept of true beauty and how easy it is to forget what it looks like, especially for teenage girls. So, girls, this is for you.

First of all, if you've never heard the song “More Beautiful You” by Jonny Diaz, go look it up right now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjE0PHi30Qs&feature=related

(This is with the lyrics, but you can look up the regular video if you want. I just think the lyrics are really important and want you to be able to catch all of the words.)

I wish every girl and young woman could hear (& believe) this song. God has used this song, not necessarily to speak to me, but to remind me of the struggles that teenage girls face every day. Because I will be working with adolescents for at least the next, say, 25 years of my life, I think it is important to remember the kinds of things y'all go through. I've seen it far too often—with my own friends growing up, with my sister's friends, in the youth group, in college, in my internship, even with little girls I babysit. A girl somehow becomes convinced that she is not good enough, that she does not measure up to the people around her. She is too fat or too thin, too tall or too short. Her complexion is bad, her hair is too frizzy, and her legs are too bony. And the more she compares herself to others, the worse she begins to feel about herself. Girls do this all the time. They even make it into a game.

“I am sooo ugly.”

“No, you're not. At least your thighs aren't huge.”

“Yeah, but look at my ears. They completely stick out. And I have this little pooch that won't go away.”

“Well, you may have a pooch, but look at me! I've gained seven pounds in the last month.”

And there they go, scrutinizing every part of their bodies to find every possible fault. (Isn't there a scene like that in Mean Girls?) Even if a girl is completely comfortable with her body, after hearing a conversation like this, she feels like she has to feel bad about herself in order to fit in. What kind of society would endorse this kind of thinking?

It can eventually lead to some scary stuff. Some girls get depressed because they'll never live up to the standards they set for themselves. Some develop eating disorders in a desperate attempt for control. Some deal with their emotions in destructive ways (cutting, drugs, etc.). Others jump from one guy to the next to the next because they find their self-worth in having a boyfriend. What they do not realize is that they are hurting themselves in the long run. It isn't worth it.

And the saddest part about it? It's all based on a lie. Girls hurt themselves and their bodies for the sake of “beauty,” but it shouldn't be about that anyway. Not that I'm saying not to take care of yourself or dress the way you want. It's just that real beauty is not about the outer. It's not about being perfect. It's not about make-up or skin or nails or hair. It's not about clothes. (And any guy who is with you only because of the way you look doesn't deserve to be with you anyway!)

Beauty is about who you are, who God made you to be. It's about serving others and being the best you you can be. It's about loving and giving and sharing, even when it's hard. Beauty is spending your summer being an influence on children. It is volunteering time and effort to help someone you don't know. It is saying hello to the older lady standing in the corner. It is helping the teacher carry her stuff to her car. It is smiling, hugging, and loving on people. It is giving an encouraging word to someone who really needs it. Beauty is going out of your way to show someone you care. It is embracing your own identity instead of trying to be like everyone else. Your differences, the things that make you you, are what make you beautiful.

And the truth is that being a teenage girl is not always fun—there are too many roller-coaster emotions, up and down, up and down. But you learn that emotions are not dependable and they are not true. Just because you feel like the world is falling apart doesn't mean that it is, and just because you feel like you're worthless or ugly doesn't mean that you are. When I feel my emotions going out of control, I try to look at the facts instead of feelings. Satan is the father of lies, and the best way to fight him is to use God's truth. And the truth is that God created you, with your personality, your talents, your looks, and even your faults. Everything about you was created by God, and God does not make mistakes. He created you in His own image, and He loves you because you are His child. You have worth and beauty because you are His. Don't fall into the trap of believing that you don't have beauty…because you do. You girls most definitely ARE beautiful.

I challenge you, today, this week, this summer--let your true beauty shine through, and strive to see the beauty in everyone around you. Instead of merely focusing on how you look, try to really make a difference in someone's life. After all, in a few years people aren't going to remember exactly how tan you were or how good you looked in your bathing suit. They'll remember the way you impacted their lives.

And if you're ever feeling down or discouraged, send me a message. I'll write you back & tell you exactly what makes you beautiful to me. (Lol, and you know I don't mind. I'm going to be an English teacher—I LIKE to write! And this goes for anyone, not just those to whom I sent this.)

I hope you all have an amazing summer!

P.S. I realize that not just teenage girls fall into these patterns of thinking. Sometimes it happens with guys (probably more than we think), and I am sure that even grown women deal with it. I definitely know girls my age who struggle with it. I've just been exposed to it the most around teenage girls, and it breaks my heart to see so many wonderful young women have such distorted views of themselves.

getaclewis

Skirtsetter

I'm a ghostwriter and book editor - there are a lot of amazing and inspirational stories that deserve and need to be told... so I help shape and polish the writing first!

I'm a mom of two teenagers and the wife of an amazing man and, at heart, a loner who doesn't like to be alone. Some days, I want to jump on the bed and laugh joyously and, oth...