blogger profile

Ginger

READ MORE

Happy Friggin* Birthday!

by Ginger

The days of no one remembering it’s your birthday are certainly over, now that every purchase you make, every website you visit, every song you listen to, every restaurant you patronize, every gift you buy (you get the idea) is captured and rolled up into a data thumbprint that marketers use to target you with “personal messages.” This year alone I received Happy Birthday messages (and a coupon for at least $10 off ) -- either in my inbox or my mailbox -- from:

DSW Shoes, Origins, Momzone.com, Red Envelope, Jdate.com, my financial manager, my dentist, Pizza Hut (how in the world did they know it was my birthday?), Brunswick Bowling Lanes (see, I am NOT too old to have a bowling party for my birthday), Best Buy, my hairdresser (which is really strange since I don’t even go to get my hair cut anymore now that I’ve discovered the flat iron -- apparently I just burn the ends off), Barnes and Noble AND Borders (I am a non-competitive book buyer). These cards and coupons practically outnumbered the notes from my friends and family, and stacked along my kitchen counter, made anyone walking into my home think I am amazingly popular. So now I’m thinking about Valentine’s Day, and what I can do to ensure I receive just as many love notes from retailers and outlets, hopefully with coupons for free chocolate. Don’t worry, when I figure it out I will be sure to let all of you know.

Oh, there was one card I received on this birthday that did not make me feel happy, loved or even popular. I, an extremely young 40-something, received a birthday greeting and an invitation to join their group from the AARP. Yes, the American Association of Retired Persons. What is the age group for retirees these days anyhow? 45? Is that nuts? What would we do for the second half of our lives if we retired at that ridiculously young age? I was insulted. I was preturbed. I was hurt.

Until I realized maybe I could get into the movies for half-price.

Happy Birthday to me.