blog entry

The Political Imbecile

by Ginger, with help from Linda B.

Today’s great idea came from my friend and colleague, Linda B. She’s a writer, too, and she is always thinkin’. Linda suggested I write about the upcoming primaries. She even gave it a title completely appropriate for me: “The Political Imbecile.”  I think she meant it as a compliment. J

 

 

It’s true, though; other than local elections – and mostly just those candidates and issues that my friends are involved in and therefore help me to understand -- I don’t know much about politics or its players. It’s like I know the “People Magazine/Cliff Notes” version of the candidates:

 

 

Ginger on the candidates, starting with Obama: Well, his wife, Michelle, is beautiful and seems to be very bright. (I’ve seen and heard her interviewed a couple of times – most recently right here in our own Skirt! page 30 of the January issue). I’ve also heard some people compare the duo to the Kennedy’s. I’m not sure if they are talking about their presence or their politics. During one interview, I heard Michelle address what seems to be many people’s concern – her husband’s inexperience, particularly when it comes to foreign policy. She defended her husband by saying that Barack had dealt with real people from real neighborhoods – from places of poverty and abuse – and he would bring that experience to all of his presidential dealings. To be honest, I didn’t think that was going to cut it. But by now he’s dealt with much harsher situations -- like other presidential candidates.

 

 

To me, John McCain seems a little like Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks -- I never know what he’s going to say. He’s got a YouTube video, catchy campaign phrases like “Mac is Back,” and “The StraightTalk Express.” He is ultra patriotic, almost died during the Vietnam war and was a prisoner of war for five years – which I think must be some kind of training for the campaign trail. He is tough on terrorism but not on Hillary -- he was not the one who called her a bitch (he was being polite to a supporter who called Hillary a bitch.) McCain basically opposes abortion unless it is to protect the mother’s life or if she was raped. How do you come up with rules for a woman’s body? At 71, McCain would be the oldest president ever inaugurated. But he sure doesn’t seem 71 to me, with all his energy and focus. Maybe with McCain 70 will be the new 50.

 

 

Hillary probably has the most foreign policy experience – after all, she’s been president before, right? What’s interesting, being that I have a pretty wide circle of female friends, is that I don’t personally know anyone who is voting for her. I did hear this one woman on NPR say that she had created a candidate spreadsheet and she’s been devotedly working on it for weeks. After looking at all her data, she said, she’s decided to vote for Clinton. When I heard that, I swear I thought she meant she was voting for Bill. Maybe that IS what she meant.

 

 

Bill Richardson seems to have some balance between getting the Federal government involved in everything and leaving some things in the hands of state and local governments. I think I like that. And he’s been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize (for his work in Sudan) – that is pretty amazing. (Of course, I haven’t researched this; maybe a lot of candidates have been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize). He doesn’t get much coverage, except of course for when he makes a Yogi Bera-type slip up in his speeches and debates. I’m not sure I want a president that’s more famous for inspiring jokes on late-night television than he is for leading the country. Especially when the writers are on strike.

 

 

People seem to like Romney because he’s a businessman and they are hoping he will know how to cut taxes, boost our economy and balance our budget. (He did, after all, balance his state’s budget without raising taxes and now Massachusetts even has a surplus. A big one.) I personally like his take on education being a partnership between parents, teachers and students – but then again, that’s MY business: kids. But I gotta ask you: what kind of name is Mitt?

 

 

I can’t even pretend to know much about John Edwards, other than he was a senator and Kerry’s running mate four years ago; he was a very successful trial lawyer (both my brothers are lawyers, so I am that rare breed that is not disdainful of lawyers -- other than my divorce lawyer, that is, but that’s not because he is a lawyer. That’s because he is an idiot. But that’s another story…); and Edwards is vocal about solving the health care problems in America (which would be his biggest trial win if he could do it). John Edwards had a teenage son who died in a driving accident 10 years ago, and his wife has cancer -- both tragic events that he is open to talking about. I don’t know about the Presidency, I just want this guy to have some really good luck this year.

 

Mike Huckabee is big on education, energy independence for the U.S. and teaching the arts in the schools. (So far so good.) He’s against same-sex marriages and government-funded stem cell research. (There goes the honeymoon.) He is for a national sales tax, which I always thought we should at least try. I know he scares some people, but maybe that’s just because he’s a minister.

 

 

And then there’s Ron Paul. They call him an “Internet sensation” because he has an amazing grassroots buzz online. He also received more campaign contributions in one day than any other candidate (more than $4 million). Paul is against abortion rights but says each state should decide for itself. He is pro tax cuts. He doesn’t want the Federal government deciding the definition of “marriage” (spoken like a true Libertarian – which philosophically I like – let people manage and govern themselves. If only it were that easy.) He is anti-war and wants the troops out.  But the coolest thing about Paul is that his supporters include Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Libertarians, hip young things and older wiser voters – all this, while flying under the radar. Imagine what he’ll do when goes mainstream.

 

 

And that, my friends, is the celebrity version of this election’s campaign candidates from your Political Imbecile. I hope it helped you formulate a favorite. Unfortunately, neither of the Spears sisters is running for president – yet. Don’t forget to check out the candidates on MySpace, Jon Stewart, and E! tonight for more information to help you become an educated voter   See you at the polls. (What are you wearing?)