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True Musings

by Ginger

The idea for this blog came from my brother. Yes, I’ve begged everyone who loves me even just a little to please read my blog. And thanks from the bottom of my butt (after the holidays it’s even bigger than my heart) to all of you who called me, emailed me and/or left comments below  -- it makes me feel uber-popular.

True musings are those things we think about when we’re driving down the road or brushing our teeth or just before drifting off to sleep ... The ones I’ve written here happen to all be about why we women do the quirky things we do, but you could (and probably do) muse about anything.  Or maybe nothing. But that wouldn’t have made a very interesting blog, so here goes:

Why is it that women trying on clothes in the dressing room ask perfect strangers to tell them whether or not something looks good on them? I mean, the person whose opinion you are requesting could have shag carpeting in their den, avocado green counters in their kitchen and dice hanging from their car’s rearview mirror. You just don’t know.

Why is it that women clean the house before the cleaning person comes? Oh! Oh! Oh!  I actually know the answer to this one. It’s to get all the dirty clothes/ legos/magazines out of the way so that the person you are paying to clean your house can actually clean your house. Of course, if you’re just hiding the personal stuff from the party last night, I get that, too. But if you are vacuuming. dusting and 409-ing the morning your house is due to be cleaned, you may want to talk about that in your next session.

Why do women want to get a tan before they go to the beach?  Only a man would ask this, right?

Why do women put off going to the gym until they lose weight? I’m guessing this has to do with the combination of spandex and love handles. What happened to the 90s fashion statement of wearing those long tank tops over capri tights? This would actually take care of my New Year’s Resolution #3 (exercise) but it would wipe out my New Year’s Resolution #117 (don’t buy anything trendy anymore.) Wait a minute, if it was trendy in the 90s but is just plain geeky now, does that count? Oh, scratch that. Resolution #9: avoid being geeky. (This was my son’s contribution to my list of NYRs).

Why do women squat instead of sitting on the toilets in public restrooms? I actually only do this at my therapist’s building, because there is no evidence to prove otherwise that mental illness is contagious. I am protecting others as much as anything ...

Why is it so difficult for women to accept help? We’ll have bags of groceries in one hand, pushing a stroller in another hand, while talking to a co-worker on our cell phone held precariously in the nook of our neck while getting a dollar out of our wallets to give to the homeless guy while pushing the door open with our hip, and someone will offer to get the door for us and we’ll say, “Oh, that’s okay. I’ve got it.”  Is it because : a) once we’ve gotten super-hero status it is hard to let go of the cape? b) we think showing just one sign of weakness will put us back in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant instead of running most of the entrepreneurial businesses in America? or c) they won’t open the door the way we want them to anyway.

Why are we so difficult to buy gifts for?  This is a complicated one. I think it’s because for women, gifts have so meaning. We want our gifts to say something -- and not just something, but the exact right thing. For us, gifts need to say, I love you, I desire you, I adore you, I like you, I need you and most of all  “I KNOW you.”  So when our significant other buys us a 45-inch Plasma TV, that says, “I know ME.”  Is this making sense? To be honest, with all that riding on it, I’m not sure even I would risk buying me a gift.

Why do women cry at sappy moments in movies?  I don’t even wait for the movies. I cry at sappy moments in commercials for, like, life insurance and Haagen Daz. I cry when my child does something wonderful. Heck, I cry when someone else’s child does something wonderful, because all I can think of is, “Oh, his/her mother must be so proud.”

Why are women always apologizing? I mean, we say “I’m sorry” when someone bumps into US. We say “I’m sorry” when our waiter spills something on US. We apologize when someone provides a service or product to us and it’s sub-par. (”I’m so sorry,” we say to our hair stylist, “but when I asked you to color my hair, I meant something closer to my natural color than burgundy. I’m so sorry, but could you please tone it down a little?”) I have been trying to break this habit, but now I keep saying, “My bad.” A friend of mine HATES that phrase. Sometimes I forget and say it to him. Of course, then I apologize right away. 

I know this list could go on and on ... I’ll jot them down when I think of them and add them to my blogs as the month goes on. It would be great if you would send me yours. Just click on Leave a Comment or whatever it says below and post your “Why do women do that?” and I’ll add it here (with credit and copyright to you, of course.)

Thanks for reading. I’m sorry if it was too long. Don’t worry if you can’t post a comment, I’ll do it.  And really, you don’t have to get me anything.