blog entry

Choice on earth

Alison Piepmeier

I’ve just finished reading a book I wish I’d edited—or at least contributed to.  It’s called Choice: True Stories of Birth, Contraception, Infertility, Adoption, Single Parenthood, and Abortion (2007).  The book is filled with women’s stories of the choices they’ve made, or have been unable to make.  The editors explain that they were attempting to give some sense of the richness of women’s reproductive lives.  Our public conversations about reproduction are so toxically polarized that it can be difficult to think outside the almost meaningless categories we’ve created, and we’re used to hearing soundbytes and political arguments rather than hearing the actual experiences of women.  

This book offers an excellent counterpoint to the public debates.  I bought the book because I strongly believe in its premise:  I have made a personal commitment to put my own abortion story out there into the world because I think it’s incredibly important for women to talk about the complexities of our lives and our experiences.  I got through the book much more quickly than I expected because it’s hard to put down.  Twenty-four women tell their stories in compelling, personal, detailed ways.  As the book’s subtitle suggests, the stories run the gamut, from women who struggled to get pregnant, to women who adopted children from foreign countries, to women who terminated pregnancies for a variety of reasons.  Women who became pregnant accidentally, and lesbian couples who struggled against political and physical restrictions to have children.  

None of the stories offer easy morals or lessons; instead, the authors attempt to convey their uneasiness, their struggles, as well as their joys.  Many of the women surprised themselves with the choices they made.  As Kate Maloy writes, “Nothing is ever sure, and sometimes, with no warning, life will bring us more than we feel we can handle.  In such a case, the important thing is not to do the right thing, since we can’t ever see the long-range consequences of any act or decision.  The important thing is to be as true to ourselves as possible under the circumstances.”  Her essay is about choosing to terminate a much-wanted pregnancy when they learned the fetus was severely deformed.

One of my favorite quotes from the book comes from Catherine Newman, who explains, “Choice in all its many forms—adoption, abstinence, technology, choosing to be anti-choice, pleasure, abortion, birth control, kids, no kids, and even, I know, regret—is what makes human sexuality truly human and parenthood truly viable.”  And indeed, as these authors stress through their own narratives, reproductive choice affects every aspect of a woman’s life and must not be taken lightly.