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Alamb

Author/Television Reporter

Amanda Lamb is a professional television journalist and author. She covers murder trials by day and reads Dora the Explorer to her children at night. Somewhere in between all of that she writes about those parenting moments that catch each us off-guard in a crazy, chaotic, and wonderful way. Aman...

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Are We Done Yet?

Amanda Lamb

Shopping with young children can be a nightmare, especially if you are like me and have an unreasonable fear of strangers in malls that you transfer to your children..

To be fair little kids want to shop with their mothers about as much as they want to sit quietly with their little legs crossed and their hands on their laps at an adult dinner.  I get this, so I try not to impose upon my daughters too much by dragging them with me.  But sometimes its a necessary evil, especially around the holidays.

I'm the mother who is constantly yelling at my children not to touch things.  In the toy store for example one will ride by on a scooter with a crown on her head and a toy sword in her hand followed closely by the other one on a tricycle wearing a oink feather boa and wielding a bow and arrow.

“They’re fine,” the toy store manager says to me with one of those the-customer-is-always-right smiles.  But there is nothing fine about them.  They are driving everyone, including their mother, crazy.

I'm also the mother panicking when my little one hides beneath or behind a rack of clothing (which she often does).  When I'm about ten seconds away from calling security and doing a store wide overhead page she usually pops out and announces herself.  By that time I'm so relieved that I hug her tightly, tell her how happy I am to see her and admonish her scaring me to death in the same breath.

You might think I'm an over-protective mother.  But actually I'm just a paranoid crime reporter who's seen too many bad things to ever let my guard down when it comes to the safety of my children.  Let's just say they've been schooled in everything from what to do in a carjacking to how to get away from a stranger who makes them feel unsafe.

My neuroses aside, what I try to do is do as little shopping as possible with my girls.  If I do need to take them I go for a short period of time and promise them something fun afterwards like a visit to the mall play area and a cookie.  In my head I also promise myself something fun like a glass of wine later when their in bed and a hot bath.

Usually their meltdowns occur just as I'm about to get something gift-wrapped.  I end up telling the sales person I can’t wait and grab the bag out of her hand before she has a chance to protest.  So this year my family should be forewarned, expect a lot of gift bags.